Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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