Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
