its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Also, beer. Big fan.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
