To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
