So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
