You really coming over, don't trick.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
sex in a hospital.. check
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
