You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
