u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
