I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
