I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
