the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
