i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
