I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
