So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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