Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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