I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
