Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so let's talk penis.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
