Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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