Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
