Where did you get a picture of my penis
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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