a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
