U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
