I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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