a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
