I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
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i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
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There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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