38 yer olds are good kisserssss
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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