What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
