Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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