Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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