So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I CAN MOONWALK!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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