you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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