He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
