Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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