How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
