There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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