God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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