i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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