You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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