i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
