peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
