Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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