A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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