did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
