Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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