I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
