I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
