we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize