love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
