six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
