so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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