Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
