Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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