She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
