My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
