let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
