oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
