as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
