could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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