Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
