hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
